Fierce Self Compassion

According to the work of Kristen Neff, Phd., the three core components of self-compassion are self- kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness of suffering. These manifest in “yin” self-compassion as loving, connected presence.

Self-kindness means we tenderly care for ourselves when in pain. Common humanity involves recognizing that suffering is part of the shared human condition. Mindfulness allows us to be with and validate our pain in an open, accepting manner. When we hold our pain in this way, we start to transform and heal.

When most people think of self-compassion, they imagine the yin version. But self-compassion also has a “yang” form. With yang self-compassion, the three components show up as fierce, empowered truth.

Self-kindness means we also at times have to protect ourselves from the behaviors of others. We stand up and say, “NO! I won’t stand to be treated in this way.” Common humanity helps us to recognize that we are not alone; we don’t need to hang our heads in shame.

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